If you were asked, would you say that your marriage is, by most standards, good? Most of us would say yes. So why then, would you even contemplate an extramarital affair? Perhaps it's a need to find something that is missing in your life or a desire to fill some of those aching "needs". Whatever the reason, you probably don't want to leave your spouse as there are too many good things in your marriage to even consider it.
There are many good reasons to stay married even if there are missing pieces or elements that you yearn for as a person. Financial, societal, children, stability, companionship, friendship - just to name a few. They aren't bad reasons. Now, if you truly don't care for or like the person you are married to, then perhaps none of these are valid reasons to stay. After all, the marriage will remain where you spend most of your time, so it should be a happy place most of the time. But if you do honestly care for/love your spouse, as well as your lover, and if you can reconcile a double life and its risks, then an extramarital relationship is a possible answer. It may not be a good one in many people's opinions, but it is an answer.
It's possible you don't want to give up the many good things in your marriage just because it isn't all that you dreamed it would be. You may find that you are happiest and most contented with both relationships in your life. Most have no desire to hurt our spouse or lover, or our lover's spouse. And if you can give your all to both relationships so that both of the people you care about are feeling good about the relationship, then you're probably not doing either one a terrible disservice. Of course, what you are doing is taking an element of choice away from your spouse in all this, and that you will likely regret, but there are always choices to be made.
Happiness is somewhat of a euphemism. It can mean many things. Therefore, people in happy marriages can decide to have affairs, and it isn't necessarily a contradiction. And sometimes, we don't even know what we were missing in our lives until we find it - unexpectedly - with that very special someone who chances into our life. Fate throws us quite a few curves, doesn't it?
In extramarital relationships, communication is essential for the relationship to exist. We don't have the assurance of knowing the other is there at our disposal at all times and, therefore, we don't take communication for granted. What you may find with your lover, although running contrary to society's dicta, could possibly be one of the healthiest relationships you've ever enjoyed.
No comments:
Post a Comment